Communists Empire Strikes Again
This time robbing women from their right to wear bikinis and night gowns.
You can not make this shit up anymore. Onion basically documents our era – they dont have to think about coming with some bullshit jokes. Jokes are written everyday by bent reality. Shaped by balls – less, soy eating boys, who happened to have a power, or feminists nazi (“nazi” - thinking about SS guard in a German camps).
Sad thing is, we do know where it leads:
In 15 years “Miss America” will consists of 25 (or whatever the number is) finalists wearing long, grey uniforms, covering their whole bodies with no make up. Make up was deemed illegal in 2025, because it was a tool of patriarchal opression women by men. Since viewership plummeted to almost zero 7 years ago, Senate imposed mandatory tax on TV sets – like in Europe.
Finalists are judged not by the looks of course, that would be racist. They are judged on who sings Patriotic Songs better and who will come up with the best solution to solve the problems of: hunger, global warming and opressive bras.
Welcome to Communism Folks.
You wanted it, you got it!!!